Mother's Day

The first Mother's Day I remember was when I was very young. I remember being at "Big Grandma's" house and Grandma asking me what I had for mother's day. I know I was younger than 9 y/o at the time. My short answer was nothing. Surprised and reasonably offended, I was asked if I had made anything at school. The short answer was - no. Grandma rustled around in her bedroom drawer until she came across a brand new, blue nightgown. She told me to give this to my mom. I gave it to my mom - but have always felt ashamed that I didn't have something for her on my own. Which, at 33 y/o sounds crazy because I am fully aware of how I was unable to drive down to the store and pick up something pretty...

Mother's Day - or really the idea of having a mother took on a whole new meaning this last fall. Dan and I had made the decision to be open to the possibility of adding a new child to our family. No sooner had we started that process - did my mom have a medical scare. It turned out to be - no big deal - but at the time it looked like she was having some issue with her heart. I sat patiently at the heart clinic while she was having test after test run to try to figure out what was going on with her. It was great because the heart clinic was able to run all of the tests they needed in one day - but also mentally and emotionally grueling - as I sat there hour after hour with no answers and often alone in a very cold waiting room. While I sat there, I thought of a lot of things and even watched some TED talks on my laptop. The thing is, that whole day and the weeks to follow, my head was full of a screaming thought of --- what would I DO or how could I possibly have another baby if MY MOM wasn't around to see that baby and stay with me for the first week after the baby was born? I know, right? How selfish that I was thinking of myself. I guess that is exactly what kids do though. :)

In telling this story, I am not trying to sound selfish or childish. Instead, I am trying to express how much we need our mothers - and specifically how much I NEED MY mom. Not just for the baby and not just for the week after he's born. But, kinda forever. (did you read that mom, FOREVER!)

So, here I sit at 5:30AM on Mother's Day with one little boy bouncing around in my belly - making his presence known. The other one just squawked from his crib and I have got to say that I feel truly blessed to be the mother of these children - to be a sister to a great mother - and to be the daughter to a truly great woman. There is quite literally - not one more thing that I could ask for - for my life to be complete.